


Who Spiked the Eggnog?

by DragonSorceress22



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Alcohol, Christmas, Don't copy to another site, Drinking, Fluff, I can't believe I'm posting this at a relatively seasonal time!, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, One Shot, Oops, Post-Conan Kudou Shinichi, Short One Shot, Swearing, awkward fluff, except for Yusaku's matchmaking plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 02:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17235395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonSorceress22/pseuds/DragonSorceress22
Summary: Tricked into attending a Christmas party by his father, Shinichi finds himself unexpectedly tipsy and predictably tactless in a crowd of unfamiliar faces. Well. Unfamiliar but for one.





	Who Spiked the Eggnog?

**Author's Note:**

> Fic-baited ONCE AGAIN by [solomonara](http://archiveofourown.org/users/solomonara/pseuds/solomonara/works), though it was probably years ago by now that she planted this little seed, inspired by a Straight No Chaser song of the same name.
> 
> Also beta’d by [solomonara](http://archiveofourown.org/users/solomonara/pseuds/solomonara/works), as that is the traditional punishment for fic-baiting shenanigans.

It was with a distinctly unfestive expression that Shinichi poured himself another glass of eggnog. His father had tricked him into coming here. It wasn’t even that Yusaku had been sneaky or cunning about it – he’d just known Shinichi’s weakness.

Shinichi glanced across the party over the rim of his glass and spotted the ultimate reason for his misery. A young man, the son of some family friend, was milling about by the opposite wall looking fairly put out. Or maybe Shinichi was projecting. Either way, when Yusaku had told Shinichi that “that interesting guy” would be at this Christmas party, Shinichi had budged, if only a little, on his firm refusal to attend. From there, his own interests had proceeded to get the better of him and so now here he was, watching the guy from across the room and unable to do anything more out of sheer self-consciousness. He should have known better. He downed the rest of the eggnog.

 

Shinichi was feeling _good_. Good enough to stick around, good enough to mingle, and good enough not to question that or his complete lack of filter.

“Oh, so, you’re gay, right?” Shinichi said to the random guy he’d literally run into on the way back from the bathroom.

The man spread his arms, a mostly empty glass of eggnog in one hand, and moved toward Shinichi. “I _am_!” he said, and made to close Shinichi into a clumsy hug.

“No. No, no, um, sir, I don’t actually know you?” Shinichi said, ducking and stumbling out of the way. They both straightened as though nothing had happened. “I mean,” Shinichi went on. “I know you’re twenty-nine years old, formerly worked as a train conductor, now working as a pharmacist, and own one… two? One pregnant dog–”

“Wait what?” the guy said. “Iwa-chan?”

“Congratulations, by the way,” Shinichi added offhand.

“Wait, how do you know all that?”

“It’s–” Shinichi flapped a hand at him. “You know.”

The guy looked down at himself then back to Shinichi, eyes wide. “What?”

“Like,” Shinichi started, then stalled, looked around, and tried again. “Like, take that woman there,” he said, pointing. The woman glanced over at them. “Equestrian,” Shinichi listed. “One kid who lives with the dad, and she lies about her age a lot.”

“Hey!”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Shinichi went on. “And, and you know what else?” he laughed. “Someone spiked the eggnog!” He looked down at himself, took stock of his height and lack of bow tie, and felt for a pair of glasses. Finding none, he gave a firm but dizzying nod and declared, “I’m gonna solve who spiked the eggnog. Shouldn’t be hard – you all are pretty simple.”

“Uh,” the guy standing next to him said, but Shinichi wandered off then, circuiting the room.

“Flask,” he said, pointing as he went. “Flask, flask, flask, these three are just here for the affair, flask, cheating on her diet, looking for an easy target for purse snatching later – you wouldn’t have happened to spike the drinks for that purpose would you?” he muttered at a young, stylish woman. She wrinkled her nose and turned away at the alcohol on his breath.

“How dare you,” she started but he was already shaking his head.

“Na, you didn’t have the means. You’re fine; just don’t steal, ‘kay?” He gave her a thumbs up and moved on.

“Hey,” someone said from behind him. It was as soft and gentle as the hand on his shoulder and not at all what he was expecting. It cut through the deductions buzzing through his mind and he turned, unsure of what he would see. Kuroba Kaito was standing there, his face a nervous twist of worry. He moved a little closer.

“Kudou-kun,” he started, voice low, but Shinichi interrupted him.

“Ah, now _here’s_ a challenge,” he said, and Kaito flinched. “You’re tricky. Can’t read _you_ worth a damn. Why is that?”

“Kudou-kun, you’re drunk,” Kaito tried again. His hand moved down from Shinichi’s shoulder to grasp his arm and he tugged a little toward the exit. “How ‘bout I help you get home?”

“No,” Shinichi replied, planting his feet and somehow becoming as immovable as a stubborn cat. “You’re trying to stop me from solving the case. Why are you doing that?”

“Because your deductions are _not_ making you any friends here, Tan– Kudou-kun,” Kaito hissed urgently. He tossed a glance over his shoulder. Everyone at the party was turned toward them, glaring, arms crossed and mouths set. A few people were even crying. He let out a quiet, aggravated sigh. “ _Please_ , just– Come with me–”

“It’s not my fault _everyone’s_ either boring or up to something–”

“All right, that’s it!” A woman shoved through the group surrounding Kaito and Shinichi and pushed Kaito out of the way, grabbing Shinichi by the front of his dress shirt. “What is your _problem_?”

“ _Somebody spiked the eggnog_!” Shinichi replied. His tone added a very definite and insulting “ _duh_ ” to the end and the woman had had enough. Her arm moved back and the strike she planted across Shinichi’s face may have been open-handed, but it was plenty hard enough to knock Shinichi on his ass.

Kaito choked back a laugh but darted to stand over Shinichi when others from the crowd moved in like a lynch mob ready to literally toss Shinichi out in the snow.

“Okay!” he said, hands raised and smile charming. “He deserved that one, amiright? This’ll make for some great holiday stories later. Why don’t you all get back to the party and I’ll just clean this up.” He crouched down then, hauled Shinichi onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry, and whisked him away with a wink and a wave to the assembled party-goers. “Have a good night!” he said as they left. “Merry Christmas!”

 

“Why are we, um… here. Why are we here? …Where is here?”

“The floor of a public restroom in the nearest park.”

“It’s cold.”

“ _I’m_ cold. You’re drunk.”

“Okay, but why are we here?”

Kaito sighed into his cupped hands and drew his knees in closer to his chest. “Well, we couldn’t stay at the party and you drank… a lot. So.”

“Oh. Okay. That makes sense. But I’m fine.” Shinichi started to stand. Kaito didn’t bother trying to stop him. Just like the last time, Shinichi staggered a step, tipped back, and slid down the wall to sit at Kaito’s side again.

“I wouldn’t go straight to _fine_ ,” Kaito said with a smirk.

“No, no.” Shinichi waved vaguely. “I mean it. I’ll be a little hung over tomorrow but that’s all. I’m surprisingly res… res… resilient? Resistant? To poison. Like, _really_ surprising.”

Kaito’s eyebrows flinched down and he snuck a long glance at Shinichi. He seemed to be spreading out, his legs unfolding slowly in front of him and his head lolling back against the cold tile of the bathroom wall. His face was deeply pink from both cold and alcohol and his eyes were closed, a faint smile on his lips for reasons Kaito couldn’t fathom.

“You… _Why_ does it sound like you’re speaking from experience? And what exactly did you mean when you said poison? Kudou-kun? Ah!”

Shinichi tipped sideways and Kaito’s arm came up on reflex to catch him. He ended up folded sideways against Kaito’s chest which looked fairly uncomfortable, but it was better than having him slide down farther and end up draped across Kaito’s lap. He bit his lip.

“Um–”

“How come you know my name?” Shinichi asked.

“You’re famous. You didn’t answer my question.”

“Yours is Kuroba, right? I came here just to see you.”

Kaito’s head thudded against the wall behind him. “You’re. Drunk,” he sighed under his breath. “Unfair.”

“You’re really interesting. I like when you’re around. Nice distraction.”

“Thanks?” Kaito managed. “You have no idea who I am.”

“Because you don’t want me to,” Shinichi replied, and how in the hell did he manage to sound so hurt by that? It didn’t even make sense.

Except that it did, and damn a detective’s insight anyway.

“I don’t– Um, look, this is kind of awkward, isn’t it? We don’t really know each other and you’re drunk and we’re sitting on the floor in a public restroom in the middle of the night and it’s cold and– And why are you looking at me like that?”

Shinichi had managed to push himself somewhat upright again and was meeting Kaito’s eyes with unsettling steadiness.

“I _feel_ like we know each other. Like I know the answer and it’s right there I just can’t… reach out and grab it. The one truth about you. …I don’t want to chase you away.”

Kaito wanted to cover his face and groan but one of his arms was still around Shinichi’s shoulders, keeping him close. “There’s no reason the rules shouldn’t apply to us,” Kaito muttered.

Shinichi sharpened. “What?”

“This!” Kaito said, exasperated. “ _This_ is _weird_! But, like, on a scale of one to ‘our lives’ it doesn’t even rank so I want to just forget about the circumstances. The _problem_ is that I’m the sober one who’ll be held responsible for everything tonight!”

“By who?”

“What?”

“Held responsible _by who_?” Shinichi said slowly.

“I don’t know–”

“Look, I’m just saying, I’ve met people under stranger circumstances, Kuroba. It doesn’t hold any bearing with me.”

“You’re not making this easier.”

“Wanna come home with me.”

“Oh my god.”

“No, look, I just mean you seem to be really uncomfortable with the fact that I’m drunk but that’ll go away. I just don’t want _you_ to.”

“No, seriously, I can just feel the judgment of… I don’t know, the universe,” Kaito said, but he was also starting to stand, dragging Shinichi up with him by the arm.

Shinichi raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you planning to take advantage of me?” he asked very seriously.

Kaito stared at him. “No.”

“Hm.”

They started a slow walk to the nearest main road for a taxi but then Shinichi muttered, “Hey. You were wrong about something.”

Kaito paused, his arm tensing a little around Shinichi’s shoulders. “What’s that?” he asked.

“My deductions _did_ make me a friend. …Right?”

Kaito’s eyebrows rose but he breathed out a laugh and guided Shinichi forward again. “Sure,” he said quietly. “We’ll call it that for now.”

“What?”

“Nothing~!”

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone here follows my Fall into Flying series, I am 30.3% of the way done (a third of the way through part 4 of 10) with Tales of Travel. Also my job is trying to kill me. …I think I’ll try to kill it back. My coworkers and I are in agreement that if we all just started working the 40 hour weeks we’re being paid for (instead of the disgusting overnights and weekends we’ve been putting in due to our overdeveloped senses of responsibility) the entire company could just crash and burn. Kind of looking forward to gleefully watching that and then quitting with no remorse~ ♥


End file.
